What's it worth?

My goal at the moment is to look for the silver lining in situations, even when things seem like we might be at the end of our journey. Right now, our pharmacy and the wonderful people who work there are not only my silver lining, but a support system I never expected. The men and women who work at this pharmacy truly love what they do and desire to help in every possible way. I thought it was funny at first that each box of medicine that comes to my door includes a little encouraging message and a package of Hershey Kisses. It's a sweet gesture, but coming from an independent company, I just assumed they wanted my business. Not the case. The people I have worked with are dedicated to providing the best customer service, at the lowest cost to me and in the shortest amount of time. There are times when I have to call them and I need a prescription for the next evening...they hop on the phone with the insurance company, get the approval and have it ready for overnight delivery or pick-up, depending on what my schedule looks like. This is a process that would usually take a week, but they make it happen. It's truly fantastic. Right now we are at a bit of a stand still.  My pharmacy put in a request to our insurance company last Sunday to see if they will approve and cover the Follistim…and more than a week later they still haven’t made their decision. I understand this is a bi decision for them, the Follistim is $2,500 a cycle...more than our monthly premium. And this is not the only medication for which we are asking to be approved. I am almost to the point in my cycle where I would begin taking the Follistim, but until we find out how much is covered, we cannot begin because we can't pay for more than one cycle out of pocket without saving some more.  My amazing pharmacy has been calling the insurance company every day pushing them to hurry up, and giving me updates every other day. I almost can't believe how often I speak with them...in a good way! They give me updates when there isn't anything to update...but to ease my mind and make sure I'm not stressing over unnecessary things. They are taking care of it for me. WOW! How often does that happen?! 

Peter and I are having a hard time deciding how much we are willing to pay, not to mention how many drugs we're willing for me to take in order to have a baby. I struggle all the time with wanting to give everything we have to this process, just to make it happen, but the reality is that that's not responsible or healthy. As much as we want a child, is it worth going into debt for the chance this next treatment will be any different from the last? I'm not sure. Part of me screams "Of freaking course it is!" but the other, more rational side, just sighs. We are just relying on God that if he wants us to continue, He will provide the means necessary whether through the insurance coverage, or a Heavenly check on my door step. :) So though the side effects are scary, if we can cover the cost, we'll just trust that this is where God wants us to go and follow.