QUESTIONER: “Wow, I didn’t know you were married that long. How many kids do you have?”
ME: “None. They’re on backorder. I ordered them, like, forever ago. I don’t know, they must be out of stock.”
(Source)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Coming into the home stretch
So today marks 11 dpiui. Only 4 more days until the Big Test. I'm feeling good, nervous, but good. I haven't had any cramping, spotting, or anything yet. I'm hoping to keep it that way because that's how each other cycle has started over the last 7 months. Usually I'm going crazy by this time, but thankfully hubby and I are moving tomorrow so I have a lot of other things to think about!
Ok, so this is going to sound super selfish, but like I've said before, this is my "safe place" and I am going to be honest. The last few months have been absolutely chock full of pregnancy/birth announcements. More than I've ever seen before. Just yesterday, two babies were born and one pregnancy was announced. In one day! As happy as I am for these new moms, and I truly am happy for them, it just breaks my heart each time. I keep telling myself I need to get off Facebook for a few months, but can never bring myself to do it. I want to know when these events happen, I cannot hide from life, as appealing as that may sound right now.
I'm trying to remain focused on feeling positive, praying hard, and getting myself through the next four days. I know it will happen when it is my time, I just hope that's soon. I don't know how many more cycles my heart (not to mention my body) can take.
Ok, so this is going to sound super selfish, but like I've said before, this is my "safe place" and I am going to be honest. The last few months have been absolutely chock full of pregnancy/birth announcements. More than I've ever seen before. Just yesterday, two babies were born and one pregnancy was announced. In one day! As happy as I am for these new moms, and I truly am happy for them, it just breaks my heart each time. I keep telling myself I need to get off Facebook for a few months, but can never bring myself to do it. I want to know when these events happen, I cannot hide from life, as appealing as that may sound right now.
I'm trying to remain focused on feeling positive, praying hard, and getting myself through the next four days. I know it will happen when it is my time, I just hope that's soon. I don't know how many more cycles my heart (not to mention my body) can take.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Waitin' on the world to change
Well we're 7 dpiui and already I'm going crazy wondering if it worked! This is usually the time it begins to weigh on me, though. The first week goes by quickly, but the second is excruciating. I had my IUIs on Saturday and Sunday, the 18th and 19th and they both went really well. My hormone levels were where they should be, I had 7 mature follicles, and no issues with the catheter. Awesome.
I spent afternoon at my cousin's baby shower and my MIL's 50th birthday party, which was nice because I didn't have time to think about the procedure at all. It was nice to be surrounded by both of our families, even if only a few people know what we are going through. After Sunday's treatment, Pete began painting the house for our move next week. I was instructed (by him) to spend the day on the couch since we'd had a crazy weekend so far. So, as directed by my handsome hubs, I spent a leisurely day reading, watching chick flix, and trying to "cook a baby" as we say. hehe
On Tuesday, I developed a dull pain in my abdomen. By Wednesday night I couldn't stand up straight for long periods of time. Since then it has come and gone, but hasn't really gotten any worse. I'm not sure what it is, but if it continues, I'm going to have to go have an ultrasound to make sure it's not my ovaries enlarging too much. According to the Follistim's website, I would also likely have nausea, dizziness, and gain weight if my ovaries have been hyperstimulated...and so far, it's just the pain. If by Monday I'm not feeling better, I will probably call the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to make sure everything's ok.
For now, I feel pretty good and I'm hoping for the best....really hoping for the best.
I spent afternoon at my cousin's baby shower and my MIL's 50th birthday party, which was nice because I didn't have time to think about the procedure at all. It was nice to be surrounded by both of our families, even if only a few people know what we are going through. After Sunday's treatment, Pete began painting the house for our move next week. I was instructed (by him) to spend the day on the couch since we'd had a crazy weekend so far. So, as directed by my handsome hubs, I spent a leisurely day reading, watching chick flix, and trying to "cook a baby" as we say. hehe
On Tuesday, I developed a dull pain in my abdomen. By Wednesday night I couldn't stand up straight for long periods of time. Since then it has come and gone, but hasn't really gotten any worse. I'm not sure what it is, but if it continues, I'm going to have to go have an ultrasound to make sure it's not my ovaries enlarging too much. According to the Follistim's website, I would also likely have nausea, dizziness, and gain weight if my ovaries have been hyperstimulated...and so far, it's just the pain. If by Monday I'm not feeling better, I will probably call the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to make sure everything's ok.
For now, I feel pretty good and I'm hoping for the best....really hoping for the best.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I feel like a gumball machine
This morning I went in for another check up. The cyst on my left ovary is still going down, it's down to 30mm now, so that's good. I also have one 10mm follicle on my left, but they don't expect that to turn into anything of worth. But on my right, I have several 10mm, one 11mm, one 12mm, and one 13mm. I was shocked when she told me how many there were! Obviously they don't want all of them to fully mature, just a few. So I need to do two more nights worth of Follistim injections and go in again on Friday. But over all, they say I am progressing beautifully and should be on target for an IUI on Saturday. I can't tell you how thrilled I am. I know it doesn't mean anything really, but it just feels good to have a positive visit to that place! I left feeling optimistic, which hasn't happened lately. Success. :-)
Hopefully they will continue to grow over the next few days and will be ready for this weekend's treatments. I hate to get my hopes up again, but it's hard not to.
Hopefully they will continue to grow over the next few days and will be ready for this weekend's treatments. I hate to get my hopes up again, but it's hard not to.
*sigh*
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Swiss Cheese and Promises
On Saturday, Peter and I went for a check up to see how I am responding to the Follistim. The ultrasound revealed little other than the fact that my cyst has more than doubled in size in just 2 days. The doctor said that as long as my estrogen levels remain where they are, there is no reason to worry about it...it will begin to go away on it's own. Otherwise, it was rather uneventful. The nurse told us that she would call with the results of my blood work, until then we just had to wait. Story of my life. Luckily they called pretty quickly and said the Follistim is working, slowly...but surely. They told me to up my dose to 75iu and to come back on Monday (today). So today I went in and my ultrasound showed that my cyst is shrinking, which is awesome! I also have two follicles beginning to grow in my right ovary. Sweeet! My blood work confirmed my progress and they want me to continue the 75iu injections tonight and tomorrow and come in for blood work and an ultrasound on Wednesday.
So far the injections haven't been too stressful, except for the first one. It took us the better part of an hour to complete the first because I was scared. haha Thank goodness I have a patient husband. He eventually just took the injector out of my hand and did it himself. Since then, we've gotten better at it. I have to switch sides each day so my bruises can heal a little on the off day. Between the crook of my arm and my stomach, I look like a piece of abused Swiss cheese. The shots feel like any other shot, but the liquid burns like mad for about half an hour after it goes in. But as I've said, it will all be worth it if it works.
I'm trying really, really hard not to be too hopeful, but this cycle is going pretty well...aahhhhh I just hate the let down every time. It's so painful to go 16 days wondering if it worked, looking for signs, analyzing every twinge. It's truly exhausting. I've spent the last six months trying to find a balanced emotion..where I can be positive, but with a level head and the understanding that so much of this is about the odds. It's like we are rolling a dice, hoping for a six. We just have to wait, eventually we'll hit. (At least that's what they tell me.) For now, we're living on hope and prayer..and faith that God already knows the amazing little person He will send to us when the time is right. No matter what that means.
So far the injections haven't been too stressful, except for the first one. It took us the better part of an hour to complete the first because I was scared. haha Thank goodness I have a patient husband. He eventually just took the injector out of my hand and did it himself. Since then, we've gotten better at it. I have to switch sides each day so my bruises can heal a little on the off day. Between the crook of my arm and my stomach, I look like a piece of abused Swiss cheese. The shots feel like any other shot, but the liquid burns like mad for about half an hour after it goes in. But as I've said, it will all be worth it if it works.
I'm trying really, really hard not to be too hopeful, but this cycle is going pretty well...aahhhhh I just hate the let down every time. It's so painful to go 16 days wondering if it worked, looking for signs, analyzing every twinge. It's truly exhausting. I've spent the last six months trying to find a balanced emotion..where I can be positive, but with a level head and the understanding that so much of this is about the odds. It's like we are rolling a dice, hoping for a six. We just have to wait, eventually we'll hit. (At least that's what they tell me.) For now, we're living on hope and prayer..and faith that God already knows the amazing little person He will send to us when the time is right. No matter what that means.
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