I was asked to help lead this mission trip by one of the other leaders in the church, and I hesitantly said that I would go. I was really nervous that I wasn't the right person for the job, that I wouldn't really have anything to offer the people in the villages. Though I hate to admit it, I am super cranky in the heat...so I was pretty worried about keeping my attitude in check while being physically tested in ways I have never experienced. Once we arrived in the village, I fell in love with the island and those around me.
This little boy touched my heart. From the beginning of the week he was right there, offering me water, helping me with whatever task I was working at the moment, asking me to take pictures with him during breaks. :) Now, I this trip everyone was filthy. Like all the time. I mean, when I took off my shoes at the end of the day, there was a line where my normal skin color stopped and the dirt began. Just disgusting. After a while, the thought of a cold shower was more than enough to get you through the dirt, sweat, and heat of the day. Well, when we were painting...it got worse! You were now covered with multicolored dirt on top of the brown nastiness. It became something of a game to see who got the dirtiest! At the end of the day, we would take baby wipes and just get the first layer or so off...just so we could have a semi-comfortable ride home on the 100 degree school bus. Well this little guy, the sweetest child I have ever met, took a baby wipe and began to wash my arm.
Can you believe that? I have never been more touched in all of my life. I will never forget him. I was so happy to later find out that someone captured the moment, I often pray for this boy, though I cannot remember his name, while looking at this photo.
When the week was over, I expected to feel relieved...I was going home to my husband, my family, my BED! But I wasn't. I was sad to be leaving so soon. I was worried that I hadn't given enough. It had taken me a little more than a day to adjust my attitude, though I hope no one noticed my negative feelings. Wasted time. I wasted more than a day focusing on my discomfort, rather than on how I could use this time to serve the children, the families, and the students in our group. The week had changed me and I haven't been the same since.
I couldn't wait for the next year. What would the task be?? How would be serve those families? What games would be play with the children? Would we have the chance to see the families from this summer again?
In December, Peter and I began our RE visits and it became clear that I wouldn't be able to go on the Bahamas trip this year because I was going to be 5-6 months pregnant and wouldn't be able to handle it. The RE was sure it would happen for us on the first try, no problem! We are young, healthy...we'd succeed for sure! Well ok then! So I told the leader of the trip about what we were doing and said that I would have to sit this year out, even though it broke my heart to say those words. I didn't want to stay home, but how could I go when I was that pregnant? It just wouldn't work.
Well, apparently that was a huge load of crap. Here we are, a week before the trip and I am very much NOT pregnant. What a slap in the face...followed by a punch in the gut.
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